Lee Trawick
reporter2.riverbendnews@gmail.com
With social media outlets becoming so prevalent among the younger generation, the more children of all ages are exposed to sexual predators, cyberbullying and body shaming by their peers.
Children grow up today with a particular image of how they should act, dress and look, creating a culture of brainwashed children who to think they are not good enough. Parents try to reinforce positivity in their children and build them up to believe in themselves and not what they see in media. However, most children, boys and girls alike, will grow up with some form of complex about their physical appearance. A survey done by www.mentalhealth.org.uk states: "Young people tell us that body image is a substantial concern, with 10–25-year-olds identifying it as the third biggest challenge currently causing harm to young people." Such insecurities open the door to cyberbullying and sexual predators.
According to Suwannee County Sheriff's Office Detective Kim Lane, children with low self-esteem or who are struggling with confidence find themselves more susceptible to the "grooming" of a sexual predator.
Grooming is a slow process by which an adult creates a relationship built on trust and an emotional connection with a child or young person so they can eventually manipulate, exploit and abuse them sexually or traffic them for sexual purposes.
"One out of seven girls and one out of 25 boys will be sexually abused before they reach the age of 18,” the website, Darkness to Light, states. That means seven to 12 percent of children are sexually abused. That breaks down to 400,000 children this year who will experience sexual abuse before their 18th birthday.
Of the sexual abuse cases reported to law enforcement, 93 percent of victims that are minors knew their perpetrator. Of that 93 percent, 59 percent were acquaintances, 34 percent were family members, and seven percent were strangers, according to www.rainn.org.
What was once a fear of predators outside children's windows is now a fear of what is inside one's home. Parents try to protect their children from such statistics by locking their doors at night and tucking them tightly in their beds, securely away from the world's predators. All the while, a predator can be sitting on their nightstand beside them, just waiting for children to accept a friend request or an invitation into a video gaming room.
As scary as it is that phones, computers and video games are the vehicles of choice for many sexual predators in the world, statistics show the most dangerous predator a child may encounter is sleeping down the hall or someone they spend holidays with.
In a world so prevalent with young people battling identity crises, children are more susceptible to a predator looking for someone seeking validation or someone to identify with. It is as simple as a compliment such as, "You look beautiful today" or "I understand you." This seemingly harmless compliment can be used as a disarming tool for predators to create a false relationship with someone. When someone receives praise, it sends a signal to the brain to release dopamine, the same chemical released when one falls in love, eats a cupcake or meditates. It is a way of encouraging the same behavior or seeking ways to find a way to feel that chemical release. Young people, whose brains don't fully develop until the age of 25 fall prey to such a self-inflicting drug.
Unfortunately, many children experience sexual abuse long before they are old enough to have a cell phone or computer. Those children will struggle to develop the simplest of social skills; they are often withdrawn, shy and unable to create and sustain relationships. The scars these children carry are far more profound than layers of skin. Predators seek these children out with gifts and pets and makes them far more susceptible to grooming; these children often keep quiet, fearing no one will believe them or are afraid of upsetting their perpetrator, knowing they live under the same roof.
How can we arm our children?
On Tuesday, Aug. 8, Riverbend News sat down with Detective Lane to inquire about precautions parents can take to protect their children. "Parents must monitor their children's devices. Find an app that they feel fits their best needs when concerning their children," Detective Lane said. "Talk to your children, get to know their friends and who they are in contact with. Pay attention to who they are talking to. If they are online, pay attention to who they are talking to, because if you are not having those conversations about healthy relationships, someone else may be having those conversations. As a parent, you don't want them to hear from someone." She advises parents to stay vigilant on their children's phones. "Do not be afraid to go through their phones. Kids today will save their friends’ contact information under nicknames. Children like to see how many likes they get on their social media. Check their likes and who is following them." She went on to discuss the importance of parents sitting their children down, having uncomfortable conversations and reassuring them why they are having that conversation. “Reassure them you are having the conversation because of the love you have for them."
When discussing what to look out for concerning a child experiencing sexual abuse, she offered signs such as a child beginning to let their grades slip; children will begin to change their outward appearance; they will become withdrawn and not care about things; and, often their demeanor will change and they will become combative.
If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault, call the Florida Council Against Sexual Violence's (FCASV) toll-free hotline at 1(888)956- 7273, visit FCASV's website at www.FCASV.org or call the Suwannee County Sheriff Office at (386) 362- 2222, or the Lafayette County Sheriff Office at (386) 294-1222 or the Hamilton County Sheriff Office at (386) 792-2004.