“Guys, you can say whatever you want, as long as you remain seated.”
I distinctly remember hearing those words fall from the tongue of a teacher from one of our area’s schools during a home basketball game last year. It was a rivalry game between the girls’ basketball teams and the comment was directed toward a group of young high school boys positioned behind me on the bleachers. They were standing on the benches, taunting the opposing team’s girls and degrading their appearances, pure mirth in their voices and across their faces.
I remember praying for a teacher to come by and tell them to be respectful, but instead heard those disgusting words. “You can say whatever you want, as long as you remain seated.” What? I understand throwing out petty taunts about players’ performance on the court, field, etc. It’s a game, after all; some level of trash talk is bound to happen, especially during rivalry games. However, telling students they can yell out vile insults about young girls’ bodies, as long as they remain seated, is sickening.
What people seem to forget about these high school sports is that they are still, in fact, being played by high schoolers and not just young women, but young men too. I’ve attended too many games where students and parents, alike will yell out insult after insult on a player’s appearance or performance. Most of the time, these insults are accompanied by some form of profanity.
Another girls’ basketball game I attended had a family seated behind me with a father, a mother and two young girls, one around the age of seven and the other around 12. The mother, much like the boys I mentioned earlier, started degrading the opposing female players on the court and expressed how she wanted to beat one of the girls up. Later, to my dismay, her youngest daughter also started yelling out disrespectful things about the girls’ appearances.
Trash talk is normal during sporting events; I’ve come to accept that. What isn’t normal, however, is bullying teenagers who are already going through their own problems. This is especially true when it comes from the adults in the stands.
The word “civility” is defined as a “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior and speech.” A few synonyms for it include “courtesy,” “consideration” and “respect.” As this spring sports season begins, I encourage all of our readers who attend any sort of sporting events, be it recreational, middle school, junior varsity or varsity, to think more carefully about how their words can affect the minds of the young individuals at play. Most of the junior varsity teams consist of players between the ages of 14 and 16-years-old. Varsity players are primarily 16 to 18-years-old.
Adults, what were you going through during your years in high school? Would you have wanted to hear those vile words when you were younger? Would they have made you feel any better about yourself?
It doesn’t matter if the player is a man or woman or on the varsity team or junior varsity team. Be kind. Be respectful. Be an adult. Think about your words before you say them, because they could do a lot more damage than you could ever imagine. I also urge teachers to, please, keep an eye on the students in the stands. Don’t let them “say whatever they want as long as they stay seated,” because there’s a very distinct line between trash-talking and bullying.