How many times have we mistakenly counted someone out because we looked at them and compared their ability or lack thereof to someone else? Or, a better question…how many times have we done that to ourselves? Have you ever felt the weight of "failure" or "not measuring up" because you have compared yourself to someone else? Another mother? Another father? Another co-worker?
We look at their success and use it as a mirror and the reflection we see staring back at us is nothing like them at all. We instantly feel that gripping feeling of failure, that voice in the back of our minds begins whispering, "you're not good enough," "look at them, you are nowhere near their level of success," etc. As a businessman and an entrepreneur, I am forever battling and fighting with this inner voice. After a long, LONG work week, a family of seven, a COVID-19 pandemic, a teenager getting ready for prom and an eight-year-old who doesn't eat peas, potatoes or anything other than Dairy Queen ice cream, coupled with a slew of missed phone calls and texts messages, not to mention the slew of demands that sits upon my shoulders daily, I find myself, as a bald man, wishing I actually HAD hair to pull out!
I often look around at other successful father's, husband's, business leaders and so-forth and they make it look so easy. The feeling of failure tries to clinch it's fist around my insides until I can barely breathe. Maybe you have never experienced this weight. But if you have, you know exactly what I'm talking about! But then, I am reminded that, if I am a fish...I'm not supposed to be great at climbing trees. If I'm a lion, my arena is not on the ocean floor. If I'm a giraffe, I can't beat myself up because I can't fly like an eagle.
The comparison game is a very dangerous game to ever try to play! Take my advice, ...avoid it at all cost. I find then that my best approach to life is to simply compare myself to myself yesterday. Am I growing today in wisdom, in leadership, in humility and in patience? In other words, as a fish...can I swim deeper depths today than I did yesterday? Or am I too busy looking at the squirrels jumping from branch to branch and beating myself up because I can't master that same task? It's nonsense! I don't know who you are or how you came about picking up this paper or clicking this online article, but I am here to tell you "YOU HAVE PERMISSION to be what you were designed to be!”
Who cares if the neighbor got a new car, a promotion, or if their kids are honor roll students? That's great and I will always, truly from a sincere place, celebrate their life victories with them because even I need a cheerleader every once in a while. God created YOU for a specific purpose. It doesn't matter how old you are or how young you are, whether you can run a triathlon or if you are bedridden, you still have a purpose.
Neither your nor MY goal in life is to try and compete against our fellow humans. We compete against ourselves. We get better; we don't get bitter. We give more than we take. We cheer on the cheetah when it breaks a new speed record; we don't get upset because we can't run that fast. We are fish, for Lord's sake! But take that cheetah and challenge him to a swim competition and see who wins. I want to give you a challenge... this week's take-a-way will be a challenge... it's not for the faint of heart. Ask yourself these three questions every day this week and honestly try to accomplish them. It will be harder than you think!
1. Did I give more than I took today? Despite the circumstances, did I personally try to give more than I received?
2. Did I encourage someone today? If I had no voice box and I couldn't utter a single word, did my actions encourage someone?
3. Who can I show some patience and grace to today? Not who deserves it, but who can I show it to? The spouse? The children? The boss who bites our head of? The slow driver in front of me while I'm already 15 minutes late?
Until next time.