What I am about to tell you will have, without a doubt, imperfect grammar and will probably have a sentence out of place. What it will be is the truth from my experience. I truly believe that, for days now, God has prompted me to write this to hopefully help someone or maybe just to empty my heart. Lets begin, lets get started on my unplanned journey. The journey I would never have bought a ticket for by choice.
After hearing all the symptoms of COVID-19 and who were the most vulnerable, I was so certain that I would die should I be infected. I was determined not to be exposed. I did all the right things that everyone recommended. I stayed home for weeks that turned into months, wore a mask, even when outside of my country home, took Vitamin C, D3, Zinc, sat in the sunshine often, prayed and used several jars of Vicks VapoRub. Doing all of these things, I believe, turned out to be a good thing. I prayed more than I normally did that God would hide me from the unknown virus. He can do that, you know.
Then the dreadful day came; a beautiful sun shiny day, when I was told I had been exposed to COVID-19. I'll never forget that day. I was enjoying pulling weeds in my flower beds, lost in my thoughts, when I received the news. My heart sank; I felt numb. I was 77 years of age with diabetes, high blood pressure and the possibility from COVID-19; everything that makes one vulnerable to the virus. I'm ashamed to say, for a while, I forgot about the most important defender of COVID-19—Jesus. The one that had always taken care of me; my Healer, my Friend, my Everything.
My first test turned out to be negative. I believe I had been tested a little too early before any symptoms but wanting to know. In a few days, though, all the symptoms were there...nausea, dizzy, no energy, weak, no appetite, a weird feeling as a wave or shadow would pass over me. It seems everyone has at least some of the same but not all of the symptoms. Therefore, I tested again. This time I was positive and scared. How do you fight something when there is no known weapon, nor medicine? No one really knew what to do, even doctors and scientists could not agree.
Again, I was so consumed with the fear that I was going to die. Although, I was ready to die spiritually, I was not ready to leave my family. It has taken me approximately four to six weeks to overcome this ghostly, foggy, overshadowing disease. Because of my true friends, loving family, the people who checked on me daily, the phone calls, the prayers sent up for me, the food, my loving husband, my children and the Lord, I survived. I now understand the old saying, "Bring me flowers while I'm alive."
Why did it take so long to remember the cure for this mystery disease—Jesus, yes, Jesus. The virus was awful to say the least, but it caused me to trust my Savior more than ever. I realized that I had never trusted Him completely. I believed I had; I thought I had, but now I totally trust and rely on Him. I could never do this by myself. I needed Him, He was there, waiting for me to acknowledge Him, to trust Him, to lean on Him and let Him take control of my life. Praise God, that's just what I did. He brought me through it and I felt His comforting presence.
One night, during this battle, I believe God impressed on me to sleep with my Bible with my hand on it. I did this and still do. It is now an absolute, a habit. The Bible is not just a book but it is the Word of God, our rule book, our map to heaven. I know this may not be for everyone, it may seem strange, but it is for me. It is for me, to me, from God.
If you have or have had COVID-19, I feel your pain, your helplessness and I am praying for you daily that God will give you hope and strength to endure. It is as though an unseen, unwelcome enemy has drained the very life out of you. I was left with diminished eyesight and hearing.
God has always known when this horrible disease would come and the people who would go through it. He is allowing it to accomplish His will and good will come out of this tragedy. God knows when and how to pull us back to Him. What amazing, awesome love this is to experience. To live in God's glory cannot be fully described nor taken lightly. God created me, He formed me, He made me. This is all so reassuring and it helps to be reminded sometimes that we are His wonderful creation.
COVID-19 IS the place where the mountain is too high. It IS the place where the valley is too wide and deep. It IS the place where we need to mount up on wings as the eagle and fly. It IS joy that comes in the morning.
Would I want COVID-19 again? My answer would be NO! I did not enjoy having it and would go to great lengths to avoid it. I will never be the same again, I am changed. I'll love my neighbor more, I'll be a stronger prayer warrior, I will seek to see the good in everybody, I will admire the sunrise, the sunset, the fragrance of the rain, a kind word, a human touch and so much more. Life really is precious and too short. With Jesus, all things are possible. If you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him. That is one of His promises. You truly have to be still sometimes and listen for that quiet, small voice speaking to your heart. Thank you God for letting me see with new eyes that you are in control of the world that you created and allow things to happen.
Out of all this, the one true fact emerges is: I CAN TRUST HIM!!
Claudette Greene